It was a Saturday, and at first i was bummed out about the day. Matt was supposed to come over and hang with me, i cleaned my room and everything because i knew that he was all crazy about keeping things neat. But last minute when he woke up, he realized he had a Singing Santas concert that nite, and he had to go unless he'd be kicked out. So instead of coming to my house, we went to a diner, where i met all of his friends, and they all loved me, and heck, i even talked with one of his best friend Jamie more then i talked with him, it was sad. Im sure she was annoyed by it though, anywho. We went to diner, and then we raced to 7-11, i remember this all vividly. I won that race, even though they were all buying monster and i didnt. During this whole time i was testing matt to see how compassionate he was about me. He honestly gave me the most amazing feeling of my life, as if id pout, hed be right there to hug me, if i was alittle behind on walking, hed hold my hand and walk with me, but then make me run. After 7-11, we went to his school where he and his friends forced me to sing in this concert thing, even though i was clearly not in the Singing Santas, no one seemed to notice, other then John Passaro and Jess Bornerman who go to YL and spotted me. I avoided them because i wasnt out to YL and i wanted to keep it that way, Matt got mad. Because when i avoided them, we were offically a couple. We rehearsed b4 the show, and it went great, i learned all of the choreography so i didnt look like a yelling idiot, but then we had a break b4 the show. Me and matt stared at each other as if there werent 100 other kids on break in the chorus room with us. We smiled. After that, we were on line waiting to be welcomed in for the concert, and he kept hugging and kissing me, and giving me these amazing looks and i thought he was going crazy, i mean, he told me how much he hated showing affection in public. but, he kept doing it, so i say, it seems like u want me to ask u something, he said, maybe i do, then i said, but didnt u want to wait and go on more dates first, and he said, i dont know, looking extremely flirtasious with me, so at that point i asked him out. He claimed to have a sore throat and would not reaspond. and i kept asking WHEN ARE U GUNNA TELL ME! he said, idk, im feeling a little ill **fake coughs**, i said, will u feel better all after this. He said maybe. We walked in, we did like 3 songs b4 there was a skit. during this time, everyone was laying on each other, all like 100 kids just like laying on the last riser and floor and aisles, it ws crazy. I was laying on matt, i just looked up at him. He whispered to me "yes" i didnt know at first like why he was saying yes, but then i realized, he was answering my question. then he lipped me I love you. i almost cried. and i kissed his knee, and then we sang a few more songs, we went into the asiles again, laying with each other, we kissed even. So at that time, i thought i made the best decision of my life, i really loved him. As we prospered, our relationship went down. I was being the best boyfriend i could, id buy him lots of stuff even though i was like dead broke, and, he sorta treated me like crap. id always text him and call him, and id get nothing bak. At one point, while i was at my dads for christmas, he told me we needed to take a break, just so that he could consider himself single, i said fine, i was up for it as long as it fixed our relationship. It wound up doing the opposite. He started talking with more guys, because he "could" and it got so out of hand, i got very jealous, and i always tried to set up dates like he wanted us to do so we knew each other, and hed always cancel. I didnt know what he wanted. One day, i was fighting with him, i was out to lunch with Matty and Melanie, my two bestfriends at the time, and they were like, your upset, we are taking u to see him. We wound up haning out in a sketchy rockypoint KFC, and we played cards. Matty and Matt were on a team, and they kept playing footsies with each other, and it annoyed me, but in the end, it meant nothing, matt was just trying to get me jealous, okay. then two days later, me matty and matt went to the mall. Holmes didnt like the fact that they met, and now i know why. But we went to the mall, lots of drama because i wanted to be all PDA with matt, and matt apparently doesnt like PDA, even though at his school he was all like ALL OVER ME. but matty like agreed with him, and what ever, it sorta annoyed me, but i got over it. Matty kept trying to insist that he should drive matt home alone, but iw ouldnt let him. until one night, where we all, me him matt and mel, watched fight club and played disney charades at mattys house. It just made more sense that matty drove matt, i was okay with it, mostly because matt was all over me that nite, and it was a really good nite. Little to my knowledge, matty and matt woudn up kissing that nite, i didnt find out till around 2 weeks later when matt was crying on my shoulder that he did. And yeh, i believe that was the last time i saw him. He said that he loved me, and i told him, i know you love me which is why i forgive you. He was crying on my shoulder, and it made me feel great that i was such a good person that i would forgive him for technically cheating on me. But, i never saw him again, and it broke my heart. It created a stronger me. I became more like matt, and in the end, thats who i need to be in life. I know i matured from a kid to an adolescent or possibly adult in that time. It welcomed me into the real world. and Matt kept telling me to grow up, because he was soo much more grown up, i mean, avoiding me an cheating on me definently seems like the adult thing to do. (pardon my spelling btw) But no, i became a more mature person, a depressed person, but a more mature one. A person, with value and a person who knew himself and was comfortable with who he is and is not ashamed at all to admit to anyone that I AM TOM! this is why 12-13-08 was one of the best days of my life. I made a decision then that was CRUCIAL to figuring out who i am today <3
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